1.91 After Party

Once the girls had finally left the house to go on their camping trip Gwen couldn’t help but to feel insurmountably uncomfortable. Not only was the deafening silence enough to drive anyone to the edge of insanity, but sitting across from Paolo didn’t make matters any better. She sat there awkwardly as he slightly shifted, his gaze unable to meet hers.

It was the first time they had spent time together in a confined space in a couple years, unable to get past their differences. What started out originally as tension turned into fighting as the chasm in their relationship began to grow. But every love has a breaking point and they had reached that several times over before they decided to go their own ways. The nights of Paolo sleeping on the couch turned into him slamming the door after an argument and renting a room at the local motel.

The girls, being old enough to understand what was going on, were more than flexible when it came to visiting their father, but as for Gwen, she was done bending over backwards for someone who had thrown in the towel. Ever since that they she had vowed that she would be on to bigger and better things, but in reality… nothing had ever changed.

She was still the same person she was, no further in her life than she was before. Still at a dead-end job trying to make it from one paycheck to the next, raising two beautiful girls and mourning the loss of the one she hadn’t seen for 14 years… She was still the same broken woman who was unable to let others in her life.

“Thank you,” Gwen said flatly, unsure of how to speak to him. It had been so long that it felt like he was a different person completely, yet the same.

Paolo looked towards her as if he had been expecting her to say the first words, setting the tone of the conversation. “Hmm?”

“For coming to the girls birthday party.”

He shrugged, no words escaping his lips for a moment. He couldn’t think about the girls right now, not when there was an invisible mess between the two of them, something he wished would just resolve itself. But even after years of being apart there was still a heavy burden of guilt that weighed itself upon his shoulders. “How have you been?”

Her face twisted in confusion by the question, catching her off-guard. Her eyes fell to her lap where her hands fidgeted. How as she supposed to react? Bitter and resentful, or eager to forgive the wrong-doings they both had committed? She huffed, “Paolo, what do you-?”

“I’m sorry!” He spat quickly, interrupting her mid-sentence rant.

What?

Paolo looked away, unable to face her again as he spoke his truths. “In the past few years I’ve… made a lot of mistakes. I’ve hurt the family, I hurt myself and… I hurt you. It’s taken me a long time to figure out all that I had done and a lot of soul searching.”

“Good.” Gwen’s eyes narrowed, all of the anger rising within her, his apology awakening dormant feelings. “You finally realize the hurt you’ve caused. It’s too late. I don’t think there is anything to resolve anymore.”

She watched as several emotions crossed his face before he leaned towards her, his fingers pulling some hair from across her face. “I know… And I think that is what hurts the most.” In a brief moment her walls fell down, crumbling at her feet, as she caught a glimpse of the sorrow in his eyes before he broke their momentary connection and got up from the couch. “Thanks for inviting me in.”

Heartstrings snapped within Gwen’s chest as she watched him walk away. As mad as she really wanted to be, there was another part of her that was hurt by the finality of how he spoke and how convinced he was that it really was over. It was, or had been… What did she want?

“Paolo.” she cringed as she spoke her name. “Hold on… Don’t leave yet.”

He turned, his eyes tearing up slightly.

“I think… We should talk.”