She swirled the red drink in her glass, her mind numbed enough to dull her thinking and keep it at bay. Already tonight had given her enough to think about and it seemed that no matter how much she had to drink, there was always some sort of remnant that remained to haunt her. It was times like these that she almost regretted staying here in Windhelm, and for all she knew it was too late to redact that decision. There was Lionel to think about, too.
Now that she had introduced him to Marcus, there was this new relationship to think about. Even if her son wasn’t as enthused to start a relationship with his father… it was the right thing to do. Her mind wandered to her own father, a man who she shared little to no experiences with. He was just a shadow of a man that impacted her little… Maybe this was the biggest favor she was doing for her son right now.
She closed her eyes and flashes of the time she had with Kolby littered her mind, infecting her with the bubbling emotions she never expected to feel on a first date. At this time it was all she could think about. Maybe it was the smooth way he talked to her, the way he expertly kissed her, or took her breath away… But it seemed to entangle her in ways she didn’t know how to react.
It had been a few hours since he had left, but she couldn’t muster the emotional strength to go home right now, let alone see Marcus to pick up her son. How do you let a complete stranger into your heart and then go confront a man that you have given your heart to over and over again? It just didn’t make sense anymore. Daisy just wished that things could be more black and white and less… messy.
Why couldn’t she be the one that falls madly in love with someone else, keep relationships and feelings in their own lane and still have a mutual relationship with Marcus for the sake of him being Lionel’s father. She didn’t think she did anything wrong. She knew that there wasn’t a romantic relationship currently between her and Marcus since she had refused a life of marriage with him, but it was difficult to keep him out of her head. All of this brought a huge weight of guilt on her shoulders she didn’t know how to bear.
She caught the attention of the bartender, signalling for him to prepare another drink as she let the strong liquid pass through her lips. Another and another, it was the only way she knew how to keep the burden light and gain the right amount of courage to see Marcus.
–
A/N
This time of year brings a lot of pain and regret for me that I find myself reliving over and over. It seems only fair to sympathize with my character and share some of it, even if it is on an imaginary plane of fiction.
QueeniePie's SimLit 